"Talk to Me"

Negotiation is the way to relate to others
through active listening, empathy and choosing the right words.
It’s easy to say but much harder to do.
Acquiring the skills necessary for interacting successfully with others requires methodology,
constant practice and experience in the field.


Know yourself, manage your feelings
and recognize the “shadows”, yours and those of others.

Empathy is the first step toward relating to others.

Active listening and Socratic questions
Ask the right questions and then listen, so you can understand and accommodate the other person

Finding the right setting
Identify the best positions for each participant

Power and personality
Intimidating others is always a sign of weakness

Always take an accommodating approach:
Use “we” instead of “I” and acknowledge merit on all sides specifically

Be creative and sincere
Manifest sincere commitment toward finding creative
and reciprocally advantageous solutions

Be transparent and honest
Avoid manipulations
and point them out if others are using them

Be aware = Know, know how, know how to share
Prepare in advance; it is time well spent


Jack Cambria
Ex Commander Detective Squad
Commanding Officer – Hostage Negotiation Team (U.S.A.)

A member of the New York City Police Department providing exemplary service for over 33 years, for 16 of those years Jack Cambria also worked in the Emergency Service Unit (ESU) whose purpose is to provide Rescue, Tactical and Counter-Terrorism services to the City of New York. His career there progressed from police officer to sergeant to lieutenant. He has vast and certified experience in all areas of these operations and is also a licensed Police Instructor for the State of New York.

He has received numerous awards for his courage and selfless service. He has responded to and served on many high-profile assignments ranging from the World Trade Center disasters, plane crashes and a variety of hostage and barricade situations involving violent and suicidal individuals. He also served as a Rescue Team Manager on the FEMA-Urban Search and Rescue NY Task Force 1.

In recognition of his many successes, in 2001 Jack was selected to command the NYPD’s elite Hostage Negotiation Team where his duties included coordinating the efforts of over 100 negotiators whose job was to respond throughout New York City to all hostage-related issues. He was responsible for the training and certification of all new negotiators and for the refresher training sessions for all current members of the team. He has conducted in-service training for many International, Federal, State and Local Law Enforcement agencies as well as for corporate agencies. In 2006 he was dispatched, along with two personally selected members of his team, to the U.S. Military Base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to conduct hostage negotiation training for members of the United States Joint Task Force.

Jack has also served as a technical consultant for the entertainment industry, providing advice for the movies “The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3”, “Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit” and “The Amazing Spiderman II” and for six television series (“Life on Mars”, “Blue Bloods”, “Unforgettable”, “Elementary”, “The Mysteries of Laura” and “The Breaks”). He has authored several scholarly articles on negotiation and received a master’s degree in Criminal Justice from the John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York City, where he is also an adjunct professor.

Parliamone - L’ascolto, l’empatia, le parole giuste per negoziare con successo in qualunque situazione (Jack Cambria)